i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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