Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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