Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
ttyl tear gas
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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