As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
