theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
