it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
