Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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