Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
