I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
