He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
