are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
