Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
