If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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