I wanna passion pit in your ass
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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