i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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