I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
