things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
