Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
