you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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