You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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