im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
