So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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