"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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