Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
