is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
