I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
