Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
