drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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