im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
