and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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