i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
