My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
