he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
