You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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