i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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