toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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