I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
