Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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