Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
