I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
