8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
