i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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