Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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