doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
