he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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