this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
