I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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