i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
