You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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