my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
