I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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