He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
And then he peed in my hair
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